" As With Most Men"

Mark Gonzales -

Sex as War

The night a man said to me "I don't believe that sex is war..."
I closed my bedroom door
And unlocked my jaw
like I unhinge my hips
laid down my arms
and said ..."why don't you stay awhile."
Cause its been a long time since my ovaries have wept in relief.
Holding onto a life time of grief,
My shoulders, hips and fingertips have been holding on for...
Unsure of how long I was going to survive for...
Wondering whose children I was going to provide for - dear life.
Gripping at the wonder that is the violence of this existence
The muscles and bones that make up my being,
that make up my spine
have been clinging to my sanity
Trying to hold onto good men
Trying to keep their hands from becoming fists
Trying to keep those that have become fists from kissing my lips
Trying to fight off those that might try to forceably open my hips
And though I've been ducking baseball bats,
switch blades
and
beauty kits
all my life.
Surviving the venomous spittle
of misplaced pronouns
and verbal violence.
Talking like a warrior
to the testosterone towers
of institutionalized power.
Stairing down the gun barrels
of men who have forgotten their mothers
Whose wombs they've desecrated
each time they've forceably invaded
another woman's space...
No where in this
have I forgotten my place
- I'm still here
I've surrendered my sanity to no one
No where in this
have I forgotten my dignity
And the victory
has been bittersweet
- cause I still love so many men
and the battles I've realized
are only half won.
~ravvvvvvvven~